Craptastic: Apple Pay & PayPal Cards Do Not Mix

I am shedding geek tears after discovering that my beloved PayPal card (which I use for ¾ of my digital/tech purchses & ⅓ of my physical purchases for security reasons) is incompatible with Apple Pay (at least according to the Twitterverse).

I am not sure if this has has to do with Apple’s alleged temper tantrum (via @Taimour Zaman) with PayPal for aligning with Samsung or banks plotting against Paypal (via @TimGreen64), but either way I need to verify if my bank is Apple Pay friendly.