So if the “exit polls” are correct it looks like Crimea will rejoin the Russian Federation after being rejected by Mama Bear approximately 60 years ago.

“Some 95.5% of voters in Crimea have supported joining Russia, officials say. after half the votes have been counted in a disputed referendum. (BBC News)”

Huh‽ Correct me if I’m wrong, but there is no bloody way that over 95% of the people voted for rejoining Russia!

After all, isn’t there a sizable Muslim population who isn’t that fond of Mother Russia‽

Surely they would have voted against being under Putin’s thumb!

“Some 58% of people in Crimea are ethnic Russian, with the rest made up of Ukrainians and Tatars.”

“Most of the Tatars that the BBC spoke to said they had boycotted the vote, and felt that life under the Kremlin would be worse. (BBC News)”

Hmmmm…ok…that almost explains the shocking high numbers of Russian empire lovers…almost.

“Ethnic Ukrainians interviewed outside the Ukrainian Orthodox cathedral of Vladimir and Olga said they refused to take part in the referendum, calling it an illegal charade stage-managed by Moscow. Some said they were scared of the potential for widespread discrimination and harassment in the coming weeks, similar to what happened in parts of nearby Georgia, another former Soviet republic, after its 2008 war with Russia. (Fox News)”

So basically Crimea’s two largest opposition groups boycotted the election en mass due to the fact that…they couldn’t win‽

True the odds were sorely against them due to the fact that this was a “majority rules” election instead of a threshold one (the latter which would have been better honestly).

Not to mention the fact that an “undeclared” army has occupied the region!

But ignoring the threats by angry men with machine guns (which is always a good reason not to vote!), boycotting this election has given the Kremlin useful propaganda that the vast majority of Crimea loves Mother Russia & will dance (as well as perform tricks) in order to “make Mama happy.”

If 25% of the Crimea population had voted against joining Russia, it would have sent a signal to Putin that he needed to placate the fears of the opposition beyond hidden conversations & public promises.

With Russia scheduled to assimilate Crimea by this Friday, it will be interesting to see how many Crimea residents choose to live underneath the shadow of the empire formally known as the USSR.